Let Me Rest

Matthew 11:28-30 NLT Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

Rest.

We don't seem to understand the value of it in today's world. We are always connected and available. Rarely, if ever, do we unplug, disconnect, and simply rest. I'm as guilty as the next person for filling my mornings, days, and evenings with activities and responsibilities.

When do we say enough is enough?

How weak and miserable must we become before we draw a line in the sand and say no more?

When do we come to the understanding that busy does not equal Godly?

I don't know exactly how it happens for everyone. How we end up just putting our noses to the proverbial grindstone and working and working and working. All the while our spirits whither and our hearts harden. What we once did out of joy and love becomes routine and exhausting. All I really know is how it happened to me.

When I first got saved, I was on fire!

I wanted to run and tell the world about the gospel. About Jesus! It's all I could think about and all I wanted to talk about. I had some friends that I was hanging out with regularly with at the time and they looked at me one evening and said "something is different about you". Boom! Open Door! I shared my newly found faith and let them know all about it. I loved those opportunities and moments. Offering others the same freedom I had come to feel and know in Jesus.

There was a purity to it that I've lost all these years later. I didn't know much about the bible in the beginning. I probably only really knew John 3:16 by heart. I would have been hard pressed to quote any other scripture and verse from memory. I hadn't been through any formal training/teaching about evangelism and outreach. I just knew my heart was alive and wanted to offer that same resurrection to others.

For better or worse, over time, my excitement and enthusiasm became tempered. More mature Christians in my life took me under their wing and started to teach me more about the bible and Jesus. It was great. I began to form a more comprehensive understanding of the God and I was so excited to tell people about it. But that same drive and passion to just share the gospel started to get redirected into works.

Before I would have willingly shared my testimony and the gospel with anyone. Suddenly, I felt I needed to introduce it slowly and be more discerning about how, when, and where I spoke. My energy and passion were reserved for doing things for God rather than telling others about Him. I got busy. I attended church services multiple times a week. I became a member of a Christian rock group and worked to learn/write songs. Schedule concerts. Pack equipment up. Set up and tear down. Teaching myself how to run sound and record. I read my bible everyday. I prayed all the time.

I was busier for God than ever before but I was sharing my heart less and less.

Then I got deep into "church". I volunteered here, there, and everywhere.

If hands were needed, I had two ready to go!

There was no job too big or too small for me to do for God!

And so I worked. Then I worked again. And I would go on to work some more. After all that I worked.

I started thinking that this burden didn't feel light or easy. The yoke around my neck was awfully painful. It made me itch and I could literally feel the reigns redirecting me and pulling me away from some of the very things God was telling me to do. I have no fingers to point. I allowed all of this to happen. There is no one to blame for it other than myself. 

Things really started to come into focus for me after my dad passed away. Once the weight of my grief combined with the weight of the heavy burden of works it all became too much. I didn't want to carry all of this anymore. And so, I started to unpack the burden on my shoulders and examine just what I had been carrying.  What exactly did I have in my bag of burden? What was really in there? 

To my surprise I started finding things that I never put in there myself. There were many things that I recognized belonged to other people. Yet, here I was walking around with the their burden on my shoulders. Revelation hit me like a freight train. All these years I had willingly let others place their burdens on me. I wanted to be of use for the Kingdom. I wanted to be valued as somebody who could be counted on. Really deep down, I thought that if I did all of this for others I would find love and acceptance. 

I worked to earn love but was coming to the realization that love is free.

Certainly, God's love is free. He gives it to us through grace. I've heard it defined as unmerited favor. You get something of incredible value that you never earned. You didn't pay the price, the price was paid for you.

So, I started to take the burdens of man and give them back to the people they belonged to. For the first time in my life I started to put boundaries in place. While this brought some tension between me and those who had grown accustomed to me bearing their burden, I could not deny the weight that was lifting off my shoulders. It became clear to me that it was better to walk in the freedom of God even if it brought the judgement of man.

After all Jesus said He came to give us life and life more abundant. Not work and work more abundant.

I have come to understand the difference between the burden of man and the burden of God. As it says in Matthew chapter 11, God's yoke is easy and His burden is light. That doesn't mean it doesn't require work. I have come to see that it often comes down to purpose. When we carry the burden of man, we are generally working to earn something from others. Favor. Position. Love. Approval. When we carry the burden of God we might do some of the exact same kinds of work but it isn't because we are trying to earn anything. God has already given us those things in grace. The difference is whether the work feels light or heavy. Is it weighing you down or bringing you fulfillment.

Are you working to earn love or are you working because you are loved?

I'm still walking a lot of this out. I'm a work in progress. But I want to encourage all of you, if your burden is heavy, if it is making you weary, lay it down. Unpack it and see if you haven't taken on the burden of man instead of the burden of God. Their may be those who get upset because you are no longer carrying the burdens they wanted you to but I promise the freedom you will feel will be worth it. 

Let grace lift the weight.