The Dad Struggle Part 2

Written by special guest Blogger: Josh Walriven

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Father’s do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

I can remember the day I became a father. I can remember holding that beautiful princess for the very first time. I can remember all the promises that I made to her. I meant every one of them, but…. I have failed in holding to those promises. 

A lot of those promises were the normal phrases and promises we make as a new father. I will never let anyone hurt you, I will always be there for you, I will always provide everything you need. The reality is that these promises are not realistic. 

One of the major struggles as a father is living up to the societal expectations that are placed on you. We often don’t think of peer pressure being a struggle with adults, especially the masculine, tough fathers that we are to be. A struggle for me personally as a father, and to greater point, as a man, is dealing with these societal pressures. These pressures can weigh on us, often feeling like we are drowning in a deep ocean. It can be dark, lonely and can lead to us taking it out on the ones we love!

You see a lot of the times we make promises to our kids, because we see others around us doing the same. I did. I made all those promises. Most of the promises were shallow, selfish and prideful with the mindset of raising them to make ME look or feel good. I may not be the stereotypical father, that everyone talks of how amazing I am, or how I seem to have everything together. Reality? It’s quite the opposite. Which leads to another struggle of being a father. 

The other struggle I deal with is people not letting their children around ours because of various reasons. When you decide to do things that are “different” people may view you as strange, odd or someone you don’t want your children around. You leave one struggle just to discover another one… It’s almost like you can’t escape these struggles. You solve one problem just to have another one arise. I know that I can’t be the only father out there who is struggling with this. There is an enormous amount of pressure that is placed on us as fathers. The pressure often causes us to struggle with insecurity (you men need to start accepting the fact that you have insecurities) that can lead us to make bad parenting choices. Again, I’ve made mistakes. I’ve made bad choices that have affected my children. 

I know most of us fathers would kill for our kids. Run through a brick wall. Wrestling a Grizzly bear, if need be, but I want to offer a different challenge to the fathers out there. Begin to love yourself and your children enough that you no longer feel pressured to be something you are not! The number one way to raise your child up in the way they should go, is to lead by example. Look at your self in the mirror every day. Go be that father your kids need. It doesn’t mean you are not going to struggle, in reality the struggle may be greater, but remember a diamond becomes more refined the longer it can stay under pressure! Be the diamond that YOUR KIDS NEED, not the father everyone else wants you to be.