Knights in Rusty Armor

So, recently I got to see first hand how often my wife get's messaged by random dudes on social media. She had made comments to me before about how bad it was but seeing first hand just really drove the message home. It was constant and almost never ending. I was trying to watch a YouTube video with her on her phone and notification after notification from strange man after strange man kept popping up over the video. It made the whole thing nearly unwatchable and it stirred an anger in me. My wife's profile clearly says MARRIED. She has used numerous pictures of her and I together as her profile pic. She talks about our kids all the time and tags me in posts everyday.

Clearly and without a doubt she is happily married.

But the guys just keep coming.

I started to time it and while we watched the video a guy messaged her about every 30-45 seconds. 

It is obvious why they are messaging her and they don't want to just be friends online. 

It's stuck with me and I keep thinking about it. All these guys are just trying to hook up with my wife for sex. And they aren't trying to win her away from me. There is no romance involved in what they are doing. How could there be? They have never met my wife in person. They don't know anything about her. But here they are, sending a digital message hoping that she'll respond with some interest so that they can get what? A nude picture? Phone sex? Sex over video chat?

Men, we need to do better.

It's a painful reminder to me that we are living in a fatherless society. All these men have grown up without a real fatherly influence in their lives and it shows. They have no respect for the sanctity of marriage and they obviously have no real respect for women. Thinking about it causes me to feel angry and lost. I want to hurt them and help them at the same time, lol.

Let me say it again.

Men, we need to do better.

All these guys are out there acting like boys in adult bodies. randomly messaging strange women on the internet so they can get a picture or video to masturbate to. There is nothing sexy about that. NOTHING! Guys, no woman wants this. I don't care if it's worked a few times for you and you got what you wanted. NO WOMAN WANTS THIS! And, deep down, none of you guys want it either. You think you do. You've bought in to a false idea about men and women and sexuality. You've given yourselves over to a lie. A bright shining neon lie. And, it's kind of gross.

I know we aren't supposed to talk about chivalry and masculinity in today's world but (trigger warning) I'm going to. In the middle ages there were two ways to become a knight. First, if a soldier proved their bravery out on the battlefield. The bravest soldiers would earn knighthood. Second, a boy could go to work as a page in a knight's household, eventually becoming a squire to the knight. If they did well, they would be dubbed a knight themselves.

I want to focus in on the second path to knighthood. As a page, a young boy would learn the proper way to behave and good manners. They would also begin fight training, practicing with wooden shields and swords. From page they would then become a squire around age 15. As a squire they would take on more responsibilities and begin accompanying the knight out onto the battlefield. Their fight practice would be done with real weapons at this time. Young men would spend 5-6 years as a squire learning from the knight before finally making it to the dubbing ceremony at the age of 21.

This is what we need today. Men, training and raising boys up into manhood. Teaching and modeling the best of manhood. Preparing the boys to become men.

Instead we leave boys to figure it out on their own. They have no training and certainly there will be no armor handed down. So, we see boys in adult bodies wearing makeshift suits of armor out of scraps they found on the side of the road. They carve a wooden shield and sword and declare themselves a knight. These are the same types of guys that message my wife. Knights in rusty armor trying to sleep with another man's queen. They have no code of conduct. They have sworn no allegiance to a king. They are drifting aimless wanderers trying to fulfill their basest desires at the expense of others.

If you look up the word chivalry it is described as the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.

Men, we need to do better.

We need chivalry in it's fullness to come back into our modern masculinity. There are certainly toxic ideas that have latched onto masculinity (see the comment "boys will be boys"). However, that doesn't mean that masculinity in and of itself is bad. Masculinity that has been trained and taught the proper requirements for chivalry is good! I would even argue that it's necessary for a thriving society. Certainly, it's needed today. If men were raised to be chivalrous then I wouldn't have to worry about my wife and daughters on social media as much.

I'm going to do my best to raise my sons to have a chivalrous masculinity. I'll also mentor any young man that God puts in my path the same way. But I'm just one guy. This is going to take a lot more than just me. Men, it's time to draw a line in the sand and say no more. No more fatherlessness. No more orphaned boys left to figure it out on their own. No more knights in rusty armor.

Stand with me.

Let's raise pages and squires.

It won't change overnight but it can change.

PS: To all the thirsty guys that keep messaging my wife. Don't be surprised if I reply on her behalf and send you a pic of my undercarriage. Figure maybe if you get one unsolicited you'll think twice about reaching out to random women on social media.