Who Wants To Be Normal Anyway?

Since the very young age of 19, my life has been anything but normal. If you are new here, my daughter Vaeh was born in 2006 with Down syndrome. Having my daughter changed all that I deemed as normal. Sure, there were major life changes that required a huge adjustment in how I did life, but there were so many little things that nobody could have possibly prepared me for.

You have to learn to walk slower.

You have to get use to carrying five bags with you everywhere you go.

You realize how little trust you have in doctors and school systems.

And did you know those little plastic bags in hospitals that hold your wet umbrella make excellent balloons? Lots of little things you learn as you go that you wish someone would have told you. Maybe life would have been a little bit easier. But for my journey, I was not awarded the luxury of preparation.  

The word prepare is used 159 times in the Old and New Testament. We can point to several stories in the bible about God preparing a thing.

Noah was warned by God concerning events unseen, so he prepared an ark.

John cried out in the wilderness and preached a message on repentance to prepare the way of the Lord.

Jesus slipped away in prayer to a garden to prepare during His final hours.

However, what do we do when events happen that we weren’t prepared for? How do we prepare for what we didn’t prepare for?

I wanted to write this blog in hopes that it may help someone who is standing where I have stood; this unfamiliar place that you feel you were forced into. You weren’t given an option or a second to think about if you even want to walk this out. Life just said, here you go! Let’s see what you got! And maybe, like me, you find yourself standing in a football field with a baseball bat wondering where the soccer goal is.

First, I want to share this revelation with you. Two truths are allowed to exist at the same time. Hold on, let me break that down for you.

In the midst of uncertainty, I have often see Christians cling to the truth of God’s word while simultaneously ignoring the truth of how they feel. Furthermore, I have even seen where some Christians call this “faith”. Sadly, many Christians are operating in emotional avoidance and calling it a positive mindset. I want to free you today from this snare, and give permission for two truths to be present. My goal is to allow you an opportunity to be real.

For example, when Vaeh was born, I was absolutely terrified. While I clung to the truth that God doesn’t leave me or forsake me, I also acknowledged my fear that He would. While I clung to the truth that God knows the plans He has for me, I also acknowledged that His plans seemed scary to me and the uncertainty I was being forced to walk left little room for trust. I can remember so many times during prayer where I would say these exact words to God and His response to me was always the same.

Two truths can exist at the same time because when we are weak, GOD IS STRONG! Truth #1 is where I have to acknowledge my uncertainty and weakness in order for truth #2 about God’s strength to ever be able to manifest. You ever get around those Christians who completely bypass your feelings and just start quoting scriptures in order to appear like faith-filled spiritual warriors? Yeah, they get on my nerves too! However, His word clearly tells us that weakness and strength can co-exist. In fact, they must co-exist. We must stop confusing roles within our relationship with Jesus. I was never meant to be the strong one, and friend, neither were you! It is okay to feel scared, hurt, unsure, and weak and so much more. God’s heart is that we come to Him with all of our emotions present so He can demonstrate just how powerful He is. Within any situation in life, never forget that two truths can be present and we do not need to downplay one for the other to shine. Be strong IN THE LORD who is wise in heart and mighty in strength. His understanding is infinite.

Secondly, I had to stop misinterpreting the promises of God and stand firmly on what His word actually said, not what I wanted it to say. Oh goodness, hold on to your pants. This may upset a few people.

My daughter was sick. We spent the first three years of her life in and out of hospitals. I spent most of my early twenties exhausted and alone, confused as to why Jesus didn’t just heal her. After all, we were faithful believers and by His wounds, we are healed, right? In context, however, this verse refers to healing from sin, not sicknesses or diseases. This verse is a citation from the prophet Isaiah,

“But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his bruises we are healed (Isaiah 53:5)”

Peter makes it clear that the healing is from our sins. He said that the death of Christ makes us “free from sin.” Jesus took upon Himself the penalty for our sins on the cross. Nothing is said about physical ailments that trouble us in this life. Boy, have I been misquoting scriptures. Now, I am not saying God doesn’t heal. He absolutely does! But if you are calling upon healing by cherry picking scriptures, please just stop. You are setting yourself up for so much disappointment.

I have seen God’s word taken out of context more times than I can count. I even had to sit in on a meeting where a man went on and on for three hours about how God is going to bless them abundantly because their sacrifices have been SO great, much more than what most people give. Not only is this statement extremely arrogant and self-righteous, it’s just flat out not biblical.

You see, what I had to learn was that in the midst of physical suffering, God promised me His loving comfort, His sympathy and compassion, and that all suffering would end with a promise of Heaven. Despite everything, He promised me that He was good. However, I desperately wanted His promises to align with my will because suffering hurts. But through it all, God desperately wanted me to look to Him and trust Him. As a result, our relationship grew deeper and I had a better understanding of how he was a good Father. In the midst of uncertainty and hard times, know the promises of God and be sure to stand firm on those promises. He often won’t end our suffering or even bless us because of our suffering, but you can rest assure, He will always be with us and we can have His peace. Be sure what you’re declaring from the mountain tops or asking for in private is aligned with His word. When God makes a promise to His people, it will come to pass. Just be sure it’s actually a promise God made!  

These two revelations have absolutely changed the way I view God and the big world around me. My prayer today is that it helps you too. My prayer today is that you stand firm knowing that when we couldn’t prepare a single thing, God already prepared for you! The meal was set. He was just waiting on you to show up. No matter what is set before you, eat with gratitude. He is a good Father!